This is a beautiful fall day in Michigan. The sun is shining and the leaves are vibrant. I’m busy homeschooling, cooking and running errands.
But I’ll admit it. My heart is feeling a little broken inside.
- The anniversary of my first marriage was 10-28 and it would have been twenty years today. God has worked all things for the good, and I am utterly blessed to be remarried to a kind, wonderful man. However, 10-28 was significant in my life. While I no longer mourn the ending of the relationship, I am reminded every year of the death of a marriage.
- It was on 10-28, a few years ago in the doctor’s office that we learned we were having a miscarriage, and would never meet our third baby.
- Our fourth baby was also a miscarriage and today was a possibility as a due date.
I wonder why God arranged for those losses to be remembered on the same date?
I don’t know a specific reason it happened that way in my life, but God tells us Himself: It’s not a bad thing to grieve.
Despite the pain, mourning comes with promises.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice. Psalm 55:17
Probably for the rest of my life, October 28 will be a mourning day. Yet it is also true that there are beautiful ways that God has “turned my mourning into joy”. I have been comforted by Christ, the sure hope of eternal life, and the kindness of friends and family. I sure would love to have a newborn to welcome into our home this month. But I will see my babies someday. I long to hold, snuggle them and kiss their faces. Bliss!
Today I can also remember that someday there won’t be anymore October twenty-eighths.
How about you? Do you have any “October 28’s”? How has God comforted you?
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.